He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
