I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
