ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
