i don't like sucking hair
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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