You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
