My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
