Duck Duck Cougar?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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