Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
