so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
