I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
