I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
