We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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