Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
