I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
