obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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