The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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