One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
