i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
