Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
