I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize