I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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