I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
