I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
