I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
