I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
