You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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