I cockslap morals
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
