And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
