so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
