We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
