wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
