I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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