If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
