the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
