I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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