I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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