It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The best revenge is premature balding
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
