why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
