Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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