i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
