My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Operation Purity has been aborted
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
