I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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