How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
