I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
did you just send me my own nude
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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