Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
