Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
