Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
