um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
