we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
