When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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