I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish I only lived at night.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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