It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
