Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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