You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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