We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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