dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
