We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this boner is exhausting
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
