I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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