batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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